Dear Young Lady,


Dear Young Lady,

My greatest shock probably in this life was discovering that the heart is not love-shaped as they make it seem everywhere . I remember that day the teacher told us in class and I wanted him to be wrong so badly but I looked around me and realized that it was really true. I don’t believe I have gotten over that shock till date. A couple of other revelations as I grew up showed me that things are not always the way they tell you they are. Did they tell you to be humble and forgiving always? Did they tell you that lazy people suffer in life? Did they tell you to keep your virginity until marriage? Did they tell you about karma? Were you told that following these and other formulae will guarantee you success? Well, like me you’ll come to realize that no one really has the right formula. Sorry!

That thing about being humble always and keeping your anger in check, please, do not follow it literally. You’ll be surprised by how far rage will take you in life. You’ll need rage to keep the government on its toes, to tell your group members to stop playing around and participate equally in your projects; you’ll need it to show at work so people take you seriously. Rage is not always about shouting but fire in your eyes so people know you mean business and are not taking matters lightly. You should be humble and learn from other people; it’s not just respecting your elders and looking the other way when superiors are wrong. You’ll have to be bold and confident in life. In Ghanaian settings, it will most likely be considered as arrogance but it will take you really far. Trust me, not being bold and confident cost me a lot in life.

You’ll be surprised that so-called lazy people are the ones getting on fast in life because they’re always up thinking about how to do things easier and are therefore always more creative.  You have to work smart in life because forward-thinking people and people who are executors are always hot-cake. Prepare yourself to be heart-broken if you think staying up late, starting early and putting all your energy into work is enough to take you to all the places you want to be.  It will only lead you faster into your grave. In this fast-paced world, creativity really  is key. Always do well to take a break and spend time on yourself and family or friends to reflect and release stress.

You’ll discover that finding a partner  or friends who know and accept you for what you are is one of the greatest fulfilments that you’ll ever have in life. You may think Amina is promiscuous but you’ll see her with a man and you’ll be amazed at how brightly their love shines because love does not care. How refreshing is it to know you have people you’re so comfortable with because you do not have to pretend to be someone else!  Please , do not go around shaming people because you think they’re having premarital sex or whatever. No one cares the older you grow, trust me. Please appreciate people who always have your back, are not afraid to tell when you’re wrong and you’re not afraid to face them when you are at your lowest points.

Don’t be surprised to see people getting passed over by karma. You have control over your life so don’t stress over people not getting what they deserve but about you and making the most of life. One thing you’ll learn is that you may be the good guy in your story but in another’s, you are the villain. No one is The Almighty, so please allow Allah  to handle rewards and punishment. Yes, that player settled down with a nice spouse and that lazy person got promoted so quickly. Please, do not worry about those things and have constant heart-aches, you have control over your life so focus on it and let Allah do his work.

Essentially, like me, you’ll have to break down some of the misconceptions you had while growing up. Things are not always the way you’re socialized to believe. All I know and cannot say enough is that there is nothing better than being yourself. Do not be afraid to do you because nobody can play your role better than you. The only constant thing and sure thing in this life is change and whether you like it or not, you’ll have to embrace it.


Yours truly,


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